everytime i blog i would try to make myself happier, so that i can record and share happy things about myself to others. just like me in the past.

however, i realized that that it is just too tough now.

being happy is tough for me now.

tho the saying always goes, "days always pass, why not live it happily instead?"

yes, i agree to that.

but.. if someone has something that is bothering him/her, its really really tough.

i have not sleeping well these few days..

really bad insomnia.

would be getting painful headaches once i lay down on my bed, like zillions of needles piercing through it.

im not sure if its due to stress, anxiety, worry or regrets.

at many times, i try to find my own 'space'.

a 'space' that i can talk and communicate to..

im not saying that others did not give me understandings, many people do. really grateful for that.

however, i still think that im lacking of something.

something that is very important to my life, just that i do not know what exactly is that.

but i know that now.. i have lost it.

the thoughts of you kept appearing in my mind recently.

i dont know why..

all i know is that all these should stop!

i still feel bad and guilty towards you, but.. i know i HAVE to get over you.

im sorry.

its upsetting me a lot.